I read a lot of blogs and other things online. Quite often I read about gays and lesbians being treated badly in some way. In what way they’re treated badly vary from country to country and situation to situation, but it’s never good. Even here in Norway where we have pretty good laws and most people are perfectly fine around gays and lesbians, there are instances of violence or just general discrimination.I had all this in the back of my mind when we started the whole marriage process, afraid that someone would turn out to be less than happy dealing with a lesbian couple. Here’s what happened:
Everyon has been great! The restaurant, the jewelers, the florists, the dress store, our hair-dresser (not that I had any doubts about him) and everyone else we’ve been in contact with as we got ready for the wedding, they’ve all been wonderful. Not that I ever expected anyone to deny us their services on the grounds of us being lesbian, that would have been illegal. But, what I was happy to discover was that none of them batted an eylid, or seemed flustered at all as soon as it became clear that they were dealing with two brides instead of the more usual combination, and we always made it clear at once.
So, what we’ve been hearing are things like: “Oh, that’s so nice! Do you want your dresses in the same style/color or very different?”, “Congratulations! Do you want your bouquets to be the same style/flowers or different?”, and so on. Actually, the last time we tried on our dresses after the finishing touches were done, they had another lesbian bride at the store at the same time, a coincidence that had us all smiling.
We had 10 flower girls/boys, all with thoroughly enthusiastic straight parents. Originally 9, but then the daughter of my man of honor (English makes this so complicated, in Norwegian the witnesses are called “forlovar” which is a gender neutral word) and his wife, discovered that her parents were going to a wedding and she wasn’t invited to be a flower girl. When you’re 6 years old, that’s serious. Tears were shed, the brides were informed (well, one of us anyway) and the worlds easiest decision was made. We just had to remember to tell the florist to add on to our order. All 10 kids were just adorable!
Family and friends were invited, and everyone who could come, did come. It was great seeing my aunts, uncles and cousins. The last times we’ve all seen each other has been at funerals. Weddings are so much more fun!
So, what is it like being a lesbian bride in Norway?
I recommend it!